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everyday Wisdom
Longmont, CO
info@everydaywisdom.us

Happy holidays are a choice. Take a moment to decide what you really want for these traditional times.

I’ll Be Happy When Everything is Perfect!

The holiday season is here! The holidays are so full of expectations: a time to share special moments with those dear to us, a time for closeness and heart warming joy. But what happens when our expectations meet the not so perfect world of way too much to do, bad weather, traffic jams, crowded stores - holiday cheer turned to fear?

Do you ever experience something other than happiness during the time leading up to the holidays? Do you worry about getting just the right gift so no one will be disappointed? Do you ever find yourself making sure everything is perfect – perfect timing, perfect house, perfect party, perfect behavior? What kind of things burst your holiday bubble?

When things start to tank, we’re often stressed, depressed, uptight, nervous. Does any of this make you feel better?

Are you only happy when everything is perfect?

We all struggle with, what Ray Dodd calls in his book The Power of Belief, The Demon of Perfection. The Demon of Perfection is the voice in your head judging you, and everyone else, for all the things that don’t go just right. It is constantly measuring everything against a standard of perfection – your standard of perfection. It’s a judge, and when things go wrong, its critical voice just gets louder.

Things aren’t always going to go right and we may disappoint others. But when we disappoint ourselves for not measuring up to some unreachable standard, there is a price to pay – drama, toxic emotions and more foul-ups. When things go wrong, do you ever feel the need to share, to vent? Does that help or does the infection of “it will never be good enough” just spread to friends and family?

Our words and actions are powerful. Our personal filter, our dream if you will, puts forces in motion. The inner judge begets more fuel for judgement. There is a cycle of generating and feeding-off of what was created. There is a story that goes along with “it will never be good enough” that doesn’t feel good. And that’s not holiday cheer!

So where do the rules of what we all should be, should say and should do come from? Are they from Martha Stewart, television, Barbie and Ken, our minister or our parents? Maybe, but the only way the rules get into your own personal Book of Law is when you agree to them. That’s right, they are your rules and your rules alone. And to add to the mayhem, our standard of perfection is often evolving, upping the bar of what we need to be happy. Maybe its better toys, a nicer car, the right outfit, or how other people should act. Remember the motto of the Demon of Perfection: “No matter what, it will never be enough!”

The type of happiness I am talking about is really the one that comes from within. It wells up in your heart and spills over into your eyes as you look into the world and feel totally content.

It allows you to experience closeness, warmth and real connection with others. It comes with accepting and loving yourself no matter what happens. Its the type of happiness that sticks even when real life does not always go as planned. This state of being is your true nature, minus the overlay of baseless fear. It is the perfection you already are. It exists in every moment, and it is there for you always. Simply tune in, and put your attention on it. From this point of view, it is easier to accept your own imperfections with affection, respect and forgiveness.

Happy holidays are a choice. Take a moment to decide what you want for these traditional times. Set an intent to use your attention to focus on what is important to you, and give the Demon of Perfection a rest.

And remember the Ho, Ho, Ho for the Holidays formula – No expectations, No assumptions and feed yourself the best holiday food – Love. Just breathe. Everything is alright as it is and you are doing the very best you can.

Susan Marshall is a certified BeliefWorks Mentor in the Toltec Wisdom Tradition. She is an inspiring speaker easily creating opportunities for people to identify and reconnect with their natural skills, talents and abilities. Susan retired from a career as an Executive and Engineer at the age of 37, lived in Europe for many years and travelled extensively. She now helps others transform their dreams into reality.

Contact Susan for a 30 minute sample session at susan@everydaywisdom.us / http://www.everydaywisdom.us/

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