from the Chapter....
The Second Step: Give Up the Need to Be Right

The second step to changing a belief is letting it go. Releasing it. Freeing yourself from a belief, however, is far more than just an intellectual decision. Liberating yourself from a belief is often not as simple as deciding to disagree. Disengaging from a belief is more than a conclusion that you come to; it’s an event with life-changing implications. Letting go of a belief is an act of will requiring that you take a precious jewel of immeasurable value and drop it into the deepest part of the ocean, where it can never be found again.

Deciding you want to break your agreement is a necessary step, but if you absolutely want to change a belief it can’t be done by thinking or affirmation alone. Remember, the intellect retrieves information from your library of knowledge, applies it to the situation at hand, and the Interpreter expresses what you have come to believe. You don’t believe what you think; you think what you believe.

The attachment to what you believe is often way too strong to be broken just by saying to yourself, "I’m done with this. I want to stop." Obsessive or addictive behavior like overeating or smoking is rarely changed by putting a sign on your refrigerator stating, I’m thin, or I’m smoke free. Behavior is the belief expressing itself and cannot be changed simply by changing your mind. What drives your behavior is not what you think but what you actually believe.

Really letting go of something is a lot like true forgiveness. Consider the act of forgiveness. Are there people whom you have not forgiven? Are there things you have done that you have not forgiven yourself for? Why not?

Often, we just can’t forgive. Although we may want to completely let it go, the debate in our minds and the emotion tied to the event are too strong, especially when the offense has occurred repeatedly over a long period of time. Our insistence on not forgiving and the arguments that support that position become a jewel of immeasurable value. The attachment is very powerful, much like the tale of Gollum from the book trilogy The Lord of the Rings, and his addiction to his "precious"—the One Ring.

Listen to the discussion in your mind when you don’t forgive, when you can’t let it go. It’s all about what you did and what they did. Who should have done this or who should have done that. Who’s right and who’s wrong. It sounds like an argument. It sounds like a lawyer arguing a case.

When lawyers come before the judge to plead a case, they provide evidence, cite precedent, and present an argument with one specific goal in mind. They are there to prove they are right. If you listen to what you say to yourself when you think about someone you can’t forgive, what you hear is an argument about being right. You can’t forgive because you need to be right.

The reason we can’t let go of what we have come to believe—even if it is no longer serving us, even if we now disagree—is because we are the champion of that point of view and will defend it at every turn. We need to be right.

In order to let go of an agreement you have made that has been reinforced thousands of times—that has your attention, hooks your mind with its point of view, and has an emotional perspective that is both powerful and overwhelming—give up the need to be right. Giving up the need to be right stops every avenue where the belief is expressing itself. It suspends justification and evidence gathering, blocking the primary source of nourishment—you. Deciding to give up the need to be right is not just a thought but a far-reaching action that releases your investment of faith. Faith in what you believe.......

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Belief is Power. The Power to Create.

In 1996, after a chance meeting at the pyramid ruins in Teotihuacan, Mexico, Ray Dodd embarked on a six-year apprenticeship with don Miguel Ruiz, M.D., author of the best-selling book about the ageless wisdom of the Toltec, The Four Agreements.

Now mentor and master coach, Ray reveals how hidden beliefs create barriers to success and true happiness. An inspiring guide based on everyday wisdom, The Power of Belief offers four simple steps to re-create any belief that stands in your way. Read it and discover:

•	The secret to changing any fear-based belief
•	The key to eliminating worry and negative self-talk
•	How to choose happiness, even when things fall apart
•	The path to true authority and personal power